letting go

Things have been a little crazy around here lately. We sent our oldest son to school last week. His very first day of school - pretty big milestone.

When he was a baby, I thought school was too far away to even think about and then, as a preschooler, I thought "school can't come fast enough!" (in a pull-my-hair-out-losing-my-mind sort of way) But these last few months I've been thinking about how much I'll miss having him around.
So I was prepared for missing him. I wasn't prepared for the "letting go". When I dropped him off that day and walked away from him, I found myself getting all choked up. I wasn't going to be there to make sure he was okay. I was leaving him all alone.

I knew that came with parenthood - letting go - I guess I just wasn't expecting it to be so impacting. And now I'm wondering - does it get easier every time? When he goes to summer camp, or gets his drivers' licence or goes to university or when he gets married or moves away, will it be easier than that first day of kindergarten? Or will I still feel like I am letting him go? Maybe that will be a good thing...